In the Beginning
by OracleVortex
Summary: .'One who attacks in search of pranks,' is the slightly modified version of 'marauder' that the four first years have come up with. Featuring good old MWPP before they were MWPP. CHAPTERS 2&3 ARE POSTED.
1. Meeting of the Marauders

Title: In the Beginning

Author: OracleVortex

Rating: PG13

Warnings: Swearing, dark issues, blood and yaoi (aka **boyxboy**)

Disclaimer: I do not now, and here on, own anything to do with Harry Potter.

A/N: I was actually writing this for another story when I realized that it didn't fit the way that I had written the marauders in that story. So I've decided to turn it into it's own little story. I figured that I needed to have some background to the marauders, and I've never really tried to write them in their earlier years. So here it is. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, and as always – I'm a SBxRL supporter and if you don't like that sort of thing, then don't read this. I've warned you, and if you go and do it anyway, it's only your own stupid fault.

But anyway, cheers!

Special dedication goes to juniperjames. Much love and cookies, Captain! –salutes-

* * *

Sirius pushed the boy into the cart with him and yanked him under a seat as the blond boy and the black haired lad thundered past the compartment. They crouched there for a few minutes, out of breath and sweaty. Feeling the boy look at him, Sirius grinned and reached over to ruffle the dark russet hair with one hand. "See?" He said, wiggling out from under the seat to peer into the hallway, "Isn't that much more satisfying than just letting them push you around?"

The other boy rolled out from the hiding place with surprising agility. He brushed off his gray slacks and stood slowly, regarding Sirius with solemn amber colored eyes. "You really shouldn't have blown Shaping Shavings into their faces, you know. That could blind them."

"Sirius snorted and shook his head. He plopped down on a seat and propped his feet on the one across from him. "They'll be fine," at the same even expression on the other boy's face, he sighed and raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Fine – I won't do it again, all right?"

"You might want to apologize to them, too, you know," the lad leaned against the cart door and looked out. "It's been nice running around the train with you, but if you'll excuse me..."

"Where are you going?" Sirius stood and reached to touch his shoulder. The boy spun, catching Sirius' wrist in one hand. The dark-haired youth's eyes widened in surprise.

The other dropped his wrist, expression clouding for a moment, "I should go."

Sirius absently nodded and the boy turned to leave. "Wait!" Sirius said suddenly, "What's your name?"

With the barest of polite smiles, the shorter lad half-turned to say to Sirius, "Remus Lupin."

* * *

"Pettigrew, Peter."

There was a set of thumps that equaled to graceless footsteps, and then dead silence.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

A table near the window cheered loudly, and some cast speculative glances at one another.

"Potter, James."

A low yelp suggested that someone had tripped, but there was no accompanying thud that meant the same person had fell. The hall waited in anticipation for the judgment.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The same table against the window cheered again, and one side of benches had to slide apart to let the boy take a seat.

"Good job, James!" Sirius said with a grin; he too had been placed in Gryffindor. Beside him, quiet and rather uneasy at the group of people surrounding him, Remus intently watched the Sorting Ceremony. Sirius introduced him to James, and the russet-haired boy only smiled and nodded.

James slapped Peter on the back enthusiastically, "This is Peter. Found him on the train."

"Hiya," Peter squeaked, eyes watering as James thumped on his back repeatedly.

Their attention was temporarily captured as the Headmaster stood at the front of the room. Professor Dumbledore smoothed out his long white beard and raised his hands to silence the room. Amazingly enough, it worked. "I know you wish you eat, but I would just like to welcome the new students to Hogwarts this year. A few announcements for those returning – be sure to speak to your heads of house about Quidditch team signups and Hogsmeade permission slips. As well, the youth council will be suspended this year as a result of incidents occurring last year." Dumbldore shot a glittering smile at the student body and lowered his hands. "You may begin the feast!"

Digging into the food that magically appeared in front of them, James immediately started into a long and in depth conversation with Sirius about Quidditch and brooms. Remus had taken a plastic fork out of his pocket, but mostly just poked at his plate with it, and Peter listened to the exchange between the two dark-haired boys, and tried to keep up with their speedy talk.

"Do you play?"

"Beater. You?"

"Seeker – this is great, we should try out for house team!"

"Yeah, but in third year."

"What? Why?"

"That's minimum age or something."

"Bullocks! You're lying!"

"You calling me a liar, Potter?"

"Maybe – are you?"

"No!"

"Oh. Oy! What's your broom model?"

"Yellowcard 8, but I'm waiting for the Mercury model in the spring."

"Ooh, that is a good model. I fly an Ice Shard 2."

"Really? I heard the breaks are a bit shoddy after a while, on an Ice Shard..."

"It's a little choppy if you don't know your specific broom alignment, but that's only if you can't realign by instinct."

"That's what the Yellowcard does, but it's with the Buffering charm and only in scorching weather."

"Yeah, I heard about that. But the Mercury—"

"I know. Heaven on a broomstick."

"Couldn't have put it better myself, Sirius."

"You know, I think we're going to get along just fine."

"You know – I think so too."

* * *

Remus watched as James and Sirius jumped up and down on their new four-poster beds so as to 'break them in.' Peter was carefully setting up an owl stand by the window, nervously avoiding the various birds brought in by the boys. It seemed that Remus wouldn't be rid of the two hyper lads or the kind tag-a-long. Despite his attempts to fade into the background, Sirius or James would routinely pop in to yank him into some sort of something. They'd already gotten one of the Gryffindor prefects angry when Sirius offered to duel a crazy knight in one of the paintings on the second floor. If they did it again, they would get detention.

Remus sighed and pinned a calendar to the wall beside his bed. Life was not going to be quiet, as he had hoped.

"C'mon Lieutenant!" James bounced off Sirius' bed and dove onto Remus', striking a pose similar to Superman's. "You don't want to sleep on a hard bed, now do you?"

Remus surveyed the damage on a smushed box of chocolate, raising an eyebrow at James. "Lieutenant?"

James saluted, nodding, "Lieutenant Lupin! I'm Captain Potter and that there-"He pointed to Sirius, "-is Admiral Black."

"What about me?" Peter piped up, having finally set up the owl stand.

Sirius did a crazy leap across the room, barely landing on the edge of Peter's bed. "You are Private Pettigrew! Salute, solider!" Peter did so, climbing onto his bed to bounce about like the rest. Sirius was double bounced, and he aimed for Remus' bed and missed, flying headfirst into the drapes hanging around his own bed. There was a loud rip and Sirius crashed into James, sending both of them into a pile on the ground.

"Oww..."

The dorm room burst open, and the same prefect that they had pissed off earlier – Jacob Hewlett – stormed in. "What in Godric's name are you doing in here?" He bellowed. "Didn't I _just_ talk to you four?"

"But I didn't-"

"We were just-"

"It was an acci-"

"I blame th-"

Hewlett passed a hand over his eyes and glared darkly at the boys. "I didn't want to do this, but you have a detention – tomorrow!" With that, he twirled on his heel and slammed the dorm door shut behind him.

Surfacing from the mass of scarlet curtain, James glowered at the closed door. "I don't think I like him."

"I'm afraid I must agree," Sirius said evenly, handing Remus another one of his boxes of accidentally- smushed chocolates. "He needs a lesson in manners."

"I agree," James confirmed. He stood, "But first things first-"He clamped one hand on Sirius' shoulder, grinning broadly. "Will you join me, Admiral Black?"

"Most certainly, Captain Potter."

James turned to Peter and did the same thing. "Will you join us, Private Pettigrew?"

"O-okay!" The smaller boy beamed up at him and rose to stand with him.

The bespeckled boy then turned to Remus. He lightly put his hand on Remus' shoulder, smiling gently. "Will you join us, Lieutenant Lupin?"

Remus stared up at the three, uncomprehending what James had just said, "What?"

"Are you in?"

The boy hesitated and absently glanced at the calendar hanging by his bed. "You want me to be in your group?"

James shook his head, clarifying, "It's more of a brotherhood, really. We stick together through whatever life throws at us, he remain honest and loyal to each other, and we vow to be brothers forever!"

"Comrades," Peter added.

"Fellows in rain and sleet and muddy sunshines," Sirius said with a flair.

"We can be marauders!" James cried, getting into the poetic nature of the group. "We, the few, the Marauders!"

"Why marauders?" Peter asked curiously.

James shrugged and looked at him as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Because it sounds cool."

"James," Remus interrupted, "Do you even know what a marauder is?"

The boy frowned and crossed his arms. "...No," he said quietly.

"It's 'someone who attacks in search of booty,'" Remus said blandly, somehow knowing that if he didn't say something, it'd take them the rest of the night to figure it out.

"That doesn't sound nice," Peter said worriedly.

Sirius waved a hand, "That's okay – instead of being 'someone who attacks in search of booty' we can be 'someone who attacks in search of 'pranks!'"

James instantly grinned, "Yes! That's perfect!"

Peter rubbed the back of his head, "Do we have to be someone who attacks? Can't we be someone who trades or negotiates?"

"No," James said firmly, "It must be someone who attacks in search of pranks. Are you in, Pete?"

After looking unsurely from Sirius to James and back again, Peter said in a small voice, "Okay." James and Sirius looked at each other and nodded at the same time. Then the three of them turned to Remus, who was unsuccessfully trying to pretend he was invisible.

"Well?" Sirius said, "What about you?"

Remus looked to the three faces watching him expectantly. James, with his smudged glasses and messy black hair, waited with an innocent, open expression on his face. Peter watched curiously, his wide blue eyes speaking of his unsure resolve with the entire idea. Sirius leaned against the bedpost, flowy black hair framing a narrow face that held an ever-present smile.

"Sure," Remus said, allowing a small smile, "I'm in."

* * *

You wanna know my favorite part of this chapter? When Remy takes a plastic spoon out of his pocket and starts eating. . It's so cute!

Remus: -looks uneasily at the silverware-  
Sirius: Do you always carry plastic utensils around with you?  
Remus: Yes.  
Sirius: Why?  
Remus: ...Because...I have sensitive fillings?  
Sirius: ...What are fillings?  
Remus: LOOK OVER THERE!  
Sirius: -looks-  
Remus: -runs-  
Sirius: I don't see anything.

Cheers and bless. - OV


	2. Establishing a Reputation

Chapter Two: Establishing a Reputation

* * *

I would like to say that in my dedication in the previous chapter, there is supposed to be an underscore between 'juniper' and 'james'. Grr.

I apologize for any incorrect spellings in the spells. I don't remember where they were listed in the books, so I just sounded them out and hoped for the best. –embarrassed look- You'll get the drift, though, right? … Right? … Ah well…

I'm going to separate scenes with the phrase 'et puis,' meaning 'and then,' because when I edit in my original separations are missing and I often skip over them.

* * *

"Lookit that!" Sirius said excitedly, leaning over Remus' and James' shoulder and flapping a piece of paper in their faces. "Our schedules are the same!"

Remus easily plucked the paper from Sirius' fingers and held it up against his own. The Black family heir was right – all the classes were the same.

_Monday – Double History, Potions, Lunch. Double Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts._

_Tuesday – Double Charms, Transfiguration, Lunch. Double Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology._

_Wednesday – Double Herbology, Charms, Lunch. Transfiguration, Double History. _

_Thursday – Double Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Lunch. History, Double Potions. _

_Friday – Double Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Lunch. Double Potions, Charms._

Remus wryly took note of the designated detention hours, before and after dinner, every day of the week. Somehow, with the association of his newfound friends, it seemed like he would become very familiar with those scant hours of the day. Scrawled on the bottom of the parchment sheet under Monday and Wednesday was the word 'Astrology.' Along side it was the time, '12pm – 1pm.' Remus's small smile faded at this, and he handed the appropriate schedule back to Sirius.

"What I want to know," James said rather loudly, "Is when do we get to fly, huh?"

"Why?" A dry voice said, inserting itself into the conversation, "Do you need the lessons?"

"No," James responded automatically, turning to face the newcomers. "I just want to get in the _air!_"

The rest of the marauders turned around. There were two other boys standing there, looking as if they had been eavesdropping on the group for a long while. As the tall blond Slytherin and the slightly shorter dark-haired Slytherin stared down at them, Sirius' eyes filled with sudden recognition.

"Hey…" He said slowly, standing to meet the blond's gaze exactly, "I know you!" He nudged Remus with his elbow. "It's the lads from the train!" Sirius grinned at them. "How you been?"

The blond's gaze narrowed considerably as he glared at him. "Fine, once I could see again. You almost blinded me, you wanker!"

"See?" Remus said quietly. Sirius waved away the prodding comment.

"Ah, nothing was meant by it, you know," Sirius said, crossing his arms; his eyes glittered strangely. "All in the good nature of payback, eh?"

"Payback?" Peter repeated curiously.

"Seems they were giving the Lieutenant a hard time on the train," Sirius replied evenly, ignoring Remus' pleas for discretion and commands to 'let it lie.' "Trying to push him around, kicking him out of his own cart."

"He was in one that we wanted," the blond sneered.

"Oi!" Peter said suddenly. He had been quietly observing the conversation until something occurred to him. "Who are you, anyway?"

The blond looked at him as if surprised he was human. "Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy." He indicated the other boy with a nod of his head. "This is Severus Snape."

"Ohewww…" Sirius made some weird noise as if he were going to say a word, but had settled on a verbal sound instead. "This is James Potter," After waggling a hand at James, he pointed at Peter, "Peter Pettigrew," and then at Remus, "Remus Lupin." He re-crossed his arms and smiled at Lucius. "I'm Black. Sirius Black. And I'm surprised I didn't recognize you, Lucius."

Lucius let out a half gasp, his mouth closing in a straight line. "I should have known," he muttered darkly. "Come, Severus." Without another word, he turned heel and left the Gryffindors alone. Severus followed along after, sending only one inquiring look back at the marauders.

"You know that golden – haired prat?" James asked.

"The Blacks and the Malfoys are well acquainted," Sirius said; eerily prim as he lowered himself gracefully to the table. "Our relatives have been eager, yet hostile, allies since before our forefathers were named." Sirius picked up a fork, squinted at it and then rubbed it on a napkin. "Being of equal stature and nature, both the Blacks and the Malfoys are the crème de la crème, and are therefore not allowed to associate with anyone of a lower standard unless it is to their benefit." Shaking out the napkin, Sirius placed it on his lap. "However, whereas the Malfoy family has a patriarchal system, the Black family has a matriarchal system."

"Please," James said, swiping the napkin from Sirius' lap and crunching it into a little ball, "Do turn back to normal before I get violently ill from all the crap you're spouting." He threw the paper ball at Sirius, who grinned at him as it bounced off his forehead.

"What's a patriarchal – matriarchal something whosits?" Peter asked.

"Matriarchal means that the family is headed by women or ran by the women," Remus said quietly, drinking from one of the shiny silver goblets on the table with a straw, "Patriarchal means that the family is headed or ran by the men folk instead."

"Oh."

"To sum it all up," Sirius said blandly, stuffing a roll into his pocket for later, "We both come from money, and pureblood dark wizard families. He chooses to follow and I choose not to."

James grinned at him and cleanly stole the roll. Peter snorted into his eggs, and Remus silently pulled out his plastic fork.

-et puis-

After their detention that night, James had led the way through the halls to search for Prefect Hewlett. Of course, Remus and Peter weren't aware of this, and had only been informed once they were completely lost in the many winding corridors. James and Sirius claimed to have their path carefully and correctly diagramed in their head, but the other two quietly doubted it.

"There he is!" Sirius said gleefully, as they hid in the shadows by a door with a sign reading, 'Hospital Wing.' Prefect Hewlett was walking slowly, heading down the second corridor, on his turn of night watch. He paused to look at one of the statues tucked in a notch in the wall, conveniently facing away from the marauders.

James unwrapped a Sticky Slimelight, handing it to Sirius. Sirius palmed it in his right hand, watching as the small rectangle slowly started to glow and ooze. Tongue sticking out, Sirius squinted at his target and lobbed the Slimelight into the air. The four marauders ducked into the hallway just across from the Hospital Wing, waiting and listening. There was a dampened bang and a high-pitched sort of 'glug' sound. Then…

"GOOD GODRIC!"

They all scattered, as if on cue. After quickly rejecting the suit of armor as an appropriate hiding place, James wiggled behind a long tapestry, silently willing it to stop rippling. He rested back on the wall and waited.

"YOU!"

James flinched before he realized that he hadn't been spotted. Footsteps brushed past his hiding place, and he heard them stop to his right.

"I can see you climbing out that window! Get back here!"

"Not while I can still fit through this pane!"

"IMMOBILUS!"

"ARG!"

"Ah – NOT OUT THE WINDOW!" There was the sound of rushed footsteps.

"I CAN'T PULL MYSELF BACK IN, YOU MORON!"

"BLACK, YOU IDIOT!" A loud rip accompanied the fair amount of noise.

"OW! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

James risked a look and saw a slime-covered Prefect Hewlett hauling an immobile Sirius back through the window. Sirius was hanging half out of the castle, limply staring in horror at the ground three floors below. James could also see Peter crouched under a statue stand with his hands over his eyes, not two feet from the struggling prefect. Remus was peeking out from behind a tapestry like James was, though he appeared to be frozen from the spell, considering that he was right beside the window. James shot him a reassuring look and received a worried glare in return.

"Come on, Black, stand will you?"

"THE SPELL!"

"Oh, for the love of- _Finite Incantium_!" James carefully pulled his face back behind the tapestry and waited. There was a loud thump and Sirius swore loudly. "That's it, Black – you have detention for the rest of this week!"

"Blast it!"

"And don't think I didn't see _you_ hiding there!" James froze, but again it wasn't he who was spotted. There was a small 'meep' and the rusty shuffle of a statue being knocked into, and James heard Hewlett say, "Pettigrew, you'll be joining your friend in detention!"

"Aw, but-"

"No buts! Now, both of you are coming back to the tower with me! And if I find anyone else, so help me--!" James squeezed his eyes shut as the prefect moved past his hiding place again, with Sirius and Peter in tow. He waited until he couldn't hear the three of them arguing before cautiously peering from out of his hiding place.

"J-James…" Remus' voice sounded like it came through gritted teeth. "Bit jammed, here!"

James slipped into the hall and went over to where Remus was. He pulled back the curtains and saw that Remus was wedged between the wood around the window and something…invisible. James reached out to touch it and felt a slippery fabric under his fingers. He pulled at it, and it came off the wall, revealing an empty picture frame. James was going to examine the picture frame further, but Remus grunted and slid to the ground. James tucked the slippery invisible fabric under his arm and reached over to prop Remus up.

"I'll just do the same counter spell that Hewlett used," James said, pulling his wand from his pocket. "What was it, again?" He waved his wand at Remus's chest, thinking back thoughtfully. "Finit Incanium?"

Remus' eyes widened.

-et puis-

"Think of it this way," Sirius said, examining the row of fine rose-colored fins lining Remus' rib cage. "You'll be a great swimmer." Remus batted his hand away and crossed his arms self-consciously over his chest.

After James had tried to reverse the Immobilus spell, Remus promptly sprouted fins across his chest and arms. Panicking and unsure if he could breathe or not, Remus had flopped on the carpet while James stifled laughter and dragged him to the near-by hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was both shocked and appalled, but immediately deposited a thrashing Remus into a large tub of water in – much to Remus' humiliation – only his under shorts, after performing the correct counter spell.

Peter found it fascinating, and Remus had to keep glaring at the boy. James tried his hardest not to find it funny – it's not like he was hurt or anything… Sirius kept peering at him with a sideward look.

"What?" Remus demanded irritably.

Sirius reached over the edge of the tub to run his finger down a set of silver lines down Remus' side, between two fluttering fins. "Where'd you get those scars?" He asked softly. There was an abrupt silence as James and Peter leaned over to examine it, and Remus turned a bright red.

"MADAM POMFREY!"

The three boys jumped back at the boy's abrupt yell, and the witch hurried in. "Dear me, Remus, are they bothering you?"

"Yes," Remus said calmly, discreetly hiding the scars with one hand. "I would like to float in my tub in peace, if it's possible."

Madam Pomfrey swiftly ushered the other boys out.

"Aw, come on, Remus…" Sirius said over his shoulder as he gripped the doorframe. "I didn't mean anything by it!"

"Sirius, you dummy!" Muffled, James waved a hand at Remus, "Sorry about the flips, mate! No hard feelings?"

The witch doctor shoved them, "OUT!" The door slammed behind them and Remus sighed, settling in the water.

"No hard feelings," he muttered to himself. "Of course not…" He poked a fin sticking out of his skin and winced.

* * *

Poor, poor Sirius. Unfortunately, it's funny. I love Klutzy!Sirius. He's just as cute as PlasticFork!Remus. –giggles- … Whoa. That was a weird feeling of fangirlness. o.O;;

Oh, and does anyone know the British word for boxers? As in underwear? (Is there one?) Is knickers the right word? Or is skivvies better? Or underpants? I used under shorts because I didn't know, and I didn't want you imaging the wrong sort when you read the passage… so…please drop a helpful word, if you can help me out! Thanks! Gods, it's embarrassing, because I also spelled 'bollocks' wrong _again_ in the previous chapter. Dammit! Anyway…

Cheers and love, OV


	3. Exploring

Chapter Three: Exploring

* * *

Maraudering! Mara-dering! Lalalalala! –poses for every syllable- I'm in a weird mood today. Short chapter, as well. Enjoy!

* * *

After the incident with the fins, Remus refused to talk to the rest of the marauders and took to leaving the room whenever they were around. He was the first to bed every night, his crimson curtains drawn tightly around the bed, and he was the first up every morning, the matching sheets neatly folded and tucked away. This greatly irritated Sirius to no end, because he wasn't one to be ignored.

"That's it," Sirius said finally, after tossing and turning in his blankets one night for an hour. "If he's not going to talk to us, then we're going to talk to him, right?"

"Shuddap…" Peter mumbled, and rolled over in his sleep. The moonlight streamed in through the window. "Cap'n…request permission to throw stuff."

James flailed about at his night table, looking for his glasses. "Permission granted, Private," he yawned. Sirius yelped as various objects of varying weight thumped into his curtains and then smashed to the carpet. After a minute or so of this, someone banged on the floor from below.

"DON'T MAKE ME COME UP THERE!"

"Good night to you, too, Prefect Hewlett," James muttered, reaching through the curtain to yank Sirius out of bed. The both of them staggered to Remus' four-poster and threw open the crimson fabric blocking their way.

"Wha?" Sirius said. "Where'd the Lieutenant go?"

James pointed at the properly made bed. "It hasn't even been slept in," he said sleepily. "We musta really pissed him off…"

"Maybe we should look for him," Sirius said, pulling a pair of pants on over his shorts. "What if he's wandering around in the halls?"

"Without us?" James said, raising an eyebrow in outrage. "He wouldn't!"

Sirius grinned and stretched. "This looks like an excuse to wander the halls, dear Jamesy." He picked up a wind-up clock from the floor and threw it at Peter's half -closed bed curtains. "Peter! You coming?"

"Nuh uh… I'm not sneaking around when prefects can see me. Too bad."

Sirius shrugged and turned to the other raven-haired boy. "Ready?"

"Oh! I have a surprise!" James grinned and flung his hands out at Sirius. Sirius threw his hands up as he felt fabric brush up against his face.

"What in Godric's Socks is that?"

James flicked on a lamp (much to Peter's dismay) and twirled dramatically around the room. "I found it yesterday – in that hall when Hewlett caught you! It was hiding an empty portrait frame behind the curtain that Remus was hiding behind – right beside the window!"

Sirius reached a hand out and came in contact with the unseen sheet. "Is that—"

"An invisibility cloak, Admiral," James put it on with a flourish, vanishing out of sight. "What do you say we go and look at that empty frame?"

Peter cleared his throat, shuffling around under his blankets. "What about Remus?"

Sirius hesitated, but turned to Peter. "Private, guard the area and keep a look out for Lieutenant Lupin. If he returns, hold him for conversation. If Hewlett asks about us, say we went to the loo, 'kay?"

Peter's arm poked out between the curtains and lazily saluted the wardrobe. (Sirius assumed it was supposed to be directed to him.) The arm retreated and Sirius was abruptly pulled under the cloak with James.

"Let us be off!" James said with a lopsided grin.

-et puis-

To both James' and Sirius' great disappointment, the picture frame was just an ordinary picture frame. However, when a portrait of a large family of pointy-eared girls heard them talking about it in the corridor, they offered to give the boys a secret passage in trade for the frame.

"Aw, I should have gone with you!" Peter moaned, after hearing the exaggerated story featuring riddles to be solved and a snitch to be caught. "Where does the passage lead?"

"It goes from the seventh floor to the first floor," Sirius said excitedly. "That means no more flights and flights of stairs to get to the Great Hall in the morning!"

"Brilliant," Peter breathed, "That's great!"

"Anything about Remus or Hewlett?" James asked. Professor Binns lazily instructed them all to take down notes on his lecture – the Crisis of Carrot Creek (1314-1623) – and didn't notice when everyone nodded and went back to talking in their own little groups.

Peter shook his head. "Nope. He didn't show up. I dropped a bunch of books around 5:30 and Hewlett yelled at me to stop, so he didn't suspect that you were even gone."

James gave Peter a mini salute. "Good job, Private," his brow furrowed for a moment, and he leaned back, the front two legs of the chair lifting in the air. "It's weird, though, about Remus. He's not even in classes today…"

Sirius doodled randomly on James' scroll, "He can't be that mad at us, right? It's only the second week of classes, so it's not like he can just not come to class…"

"As much as we don't want to…" Peter muttered.

"Did he look sick to you?" James asked suddenly, falling forward so his chair hit the floor with a 'clack.' The students in the class faked an attentive pose as Binns looked at them, and dropped it once he went back to pacing. "I mean, the last time we saw him – Saturday when he was lying on his bed when we came in – did he look kinda wishy-washy to you?"

Sirius exchanged quills and chewed on the tip of his new one thoughtfully, "I wasn't going to say anything, myself… I'm glad you mentioned that, Captain." He grew tired of the charade and bit off the top of the sugar quill. He munched on it, "But I thought it was just cause he just got rid of those fins on Thursday. Who knows what that does to the system?"

"True…" Said James slowly. He shook his head and smiled. "Well, we'll get him to talk to us the next time we see him. Find out what happened."

"Good idea," Sirius said absently, finishing his quill.

Peter rolled his scroll from one side of the table to the other. "What if we never see him again?"

"Don't be silly. What could possibly happen to him here?"

-et puis-

They seemed to have a natural knack for it – sneaking about the castle and worming its secrets out. In the period of five hours, the three of them discovered three secret passages, two exits from the school and eight large, hidden rooms. They were only almost caught twice, and one of them was because they turned a corner to end up right behind Filtch.

Sirius tumbled out of the wall, next to the portrait of the blind deaf man, James and Peter landing on top of him. In the middle of untangling themselves, James suddenly hissed for them to shut up.

Madam Pomfrey, one hand braced against the door beside the Hospital Wing sign, was peeling mud-covered shoes off of her feet. A fresh welt was cast across her left cheek, bright and rosy even in the shaded darkness of the corridor. She cursed under her breath, muttering about 'flapping bloody trees' and 'great trickery of knots." She picked up her shoes, making a face at the mud, and carried them into the Hospital Wing. The door shut firmly, a loud click sounding in the hallway.

"Can I move?" Peter whispered. James shoved him, and the three boys suddenly pulled apart.

"So…" Sirius said, poking the wall with his wand. "Sixth floor tapestry leads to here…the password…um…"

"Hillious Flimmis," James said.

The wall in front of them shimmered and rippled like jelly.

"And viceversa on that passage," Sirius said. He moved through the wall again, the whole scene with Madam Pomfrey already forgotten.

-et puis-

Three of the four marauders found Remus sitting in the Great Hall the day after, determinedly trying to eat an omelet with a plastic spoon and knife. After watching him for a few minutes, mystified by the mysterious appearance, they finally went over to talk to him.

"Hi, Remus," Peter said slowly.

Remus rocked the spoon back and forth in the omelet and made an indistinct sound at him. "Good morning."

"Why the-"

"My fork unfortunately passed away in the night," Remus answered, cleanly cutting Peter off. "It was a difficult passing, but the other utensils will move on…"

"Where were you yesterday?" Sirius said bluntly, deciding to sidestep Remus' newly revealed sarcasm and get straight to the point. His efforts earned himself identical exasperated looks from James and Peter.

"Hospital Wing," Remus replied. "Nursing my cutlery back to health. Around 2:30 we though the knife might have had a stroke, but it was a false alarm." He was cutting his breakfast into pieces small enough for him so scoop up with his spoon.

The other three exchanged a glance. "Look, about the fins-" James started.

"What?" Remus looked up at him, his concentration finally broken. "Oh, right – it's fine. No hard feelings, right?"

Sirius glanced uneasily at James who returned the look. The same phrase that they had used seemed a bit bitter coming from Remus. The three of them stood silently around Remus as he renewed his quest to eat his egg. Peter, by far the only one who had qualms with strange eating habits, finally gave an annoyed sigh and picked up silverware from the next place setting.

"Here," he said, sticking it in front of Remus.

The three boys jumped as Remus suddenly jerked away, sliding down the table and nearly falling to the floor. He looked up at them with a strangely even, unblinking look and the two remaining plastic utensils snapped between his clenched fingers. The boys were struck dumb by the intensity of his gaze, and all hesitantly took a step back. They were held in the moment for a long heartbeat until Remus abruptly stood, turned around, and calmly walked out of the hall.

"That was weird." James murmured.

* * *

James: What's your problem with dinnerware?  
Remus: Um…mine's…an enchanted set that's been in the family for generations?  
James: A plastic breakable heirloom?  
Remus: LOOK! A SNITCH!  
James: WHERE? –jumps up to look around-  
Remus: -runs-  
James: I THINK I SEE IT! –dashes off-

I figure for once, Remus can be the sarcastic one. He needs a good defense mechanism, and I've already written him as the strong, silent, ghosting type. He's not just intelligent; he's witty too! Oh, and you know what else I love doing? Making up random subjects for Professor Binns to lecture on. It's fun. –grin- Yes, I am pathetic, I know…

Cheers and sporks, OV


End file.
